How To Reignite Your Creative Spark with Zain Meghji

Zain: [00:00:00] You can keep, keep.

This is my friend Janet Jackson.

Oh, it stop. There’s a part where like the black lady’s processing Shine on, shine on. Why did it stop? I don’t know. Okay. So, uh, Janet Jackson, I love you some Janet Jackson. We might talk about Janet Jackson. We will talk about shining on. Um, tonight we’re gonna talk about how to show up, how to share, how to shine, and what does that mean in terms of giving yourself permission, in terms of having a perspective and making progress through process.

We’re gonna ask these questions. We’re gonna do some exercises. Uh, you’re gonna have an opportunity to show up for yourself. You’re gonna have an opportunity to show up for other people, share what you’re thinking, and receive what other people are telling you, and then shine. And as AMI talked about, it’s not.[00:01:00] 

A direct line. It’s not a smooth line. We’re gonna have some laughs. We may have some tears, but we’ll see what happens. So my whole career has been based on putting other people in the spotlight as a director, as a interviewer, as a producer. Uh, he alluded to, uh, being a drag performer and, uh, being a yoga teacher, being a waiter, it’s always about like, Hey, what do you need?

How can I help you? How can I get you what you want? And whatever your profession is, and also whatever your hobby is, however you craft your craft. We’ll touch on that tonight. Sometimes that means amplifying your own voice. Sometimes it means amplifying the voice of other people. So what does it mean to show up?

Well, y’all did that tonight. Either you saw it on the Creative Pulse website or maybe I sent you a message, [00:02:00] uh, a few weeks ago. Or I sent one yesterday when I realized, oh no, this talk might be okay. So I should tell more of my friends to show up. Showing up is the invitation. The invitation. We give the invitation.

You give yourself, I’m gonna show up to Savannah. I’m gonna show up at work. I’m gonna show up for my friends, my family, my community, for strangers showing off. Now, sometimes people think that’s negative, but it’s also the image you put forward, the image you cultivate, and that image that you share, and then they’re showing out.

That’s the impact that you get, that you create by showing up and showing off. Presence is how you’re being, and presentation is what you’re doing. So let’s talk about this lady right here. Back in the day, I was an entertainment reporter on a Canadian television show called eTalk and my brother, who’s in the audience right here, was a television host as [00:03:00] well.

And for once we actually worked on the same show together and it was at the Toronto International Film Festival and it was the premiere of Precious and I love me some Oprah Winfrey. Now I dunno how old everyone in this audience is. I think we have a whole gamut. So if you don’t know, Oprah used to have a talk show.

Uh, right. It’s been a while. Some people are like, who’s that lady? She loves bread and like Yuel pic, there’s more to Oprah. She was our therapist at four o’clock every day. If you were from Vancouver, you would turn.

Making the movie, but she came on later and I was like, oh my God, I need to interview Oprah Winfrey. I need to meet Oprah Winfrey. And it’s like, what do you ask Oprah Winfrey? You get one question. But the thing is that red carpet was stacked [00:04:00] with so many celebrities, Mary j Blige, Mariah Carey Cabaret, cbe, Tyler Perry, like the list went on.

But I was like, I just need to talk to Oprah. It went like this. Tyler Perry just told me something powerful that he learned from you. What Precious, and I said this to him, is that Precious makes a decision. She wants something different in her life. She makes that choice. Yeah. I asked him what was his turning point?

He said he heard you say, you gotta write, write it down. That’s where his first play came from. For you, what was your turning point when you said, you know what? I’m going to become the Oprah Winfrey that I am now. What was that turning point for you? 

Video clip: Ooh, that’s really good. That’s really good on the red carpet.

Let me see. 

Zain: I’m making Oprah think 

Video clip: that takes some thought. That’s more than a woohoo thought 

Zain: I made Oprah think so Then she kinda talked about the movie a little bit and said some stuff about Precious. I’m like, kick out. But what is the answer to the question? And the question was, how did you know that you were going to become the Oprah Winfrey that you are [00:05:00] today?

And she told a story about how when she was younger, sitting on her grandmother’s porch and her grandmother’s like, you better like fold the laundry. And she’s like, that’s not gonna be my life. Because she knew. And so she just said, I just knew. And in the moment I looked at her and I was like, what kind of fucking answer is that?

But as the weeks went by and the months went by and the years went by, it makes me think it’s like, what do you just know? From the get go from when you were young. You just know ever since I was young, I used to play with action figures, dolls, and as you can see, there’s our Zane action figure right there.

But we had our super powers and our super friends, again dating myself, if you remember like the Justice League and those like now they make these again and you can buy them at GameStop, but like we had the OG version of that or Heman Masters of the Universe and imagining if I was one of the [00:06:00] masters of the universe.

But that’s when I knew it’s like as a young. Director, I would take these toys and make my own episodes out of them. And if we didn’t have the figures, like on the back of the card stock, you could just cut out the characters and you just, they’d fill in, they’d be stand-ins. So I would do episodes, and that’s when I knew I was always meant to direct.

But I also knew that I loved talking to people and getting to a point. So it was also the beginning of knowing I always wanted to be an interviewer or a talk show host. And I think all my life I’ve been like, I’m a talk show host without a talk show to host. So how do you make that thing and how do you guys all look at that and go, what do I need to tap into the idea of nostalgia?

Everything in the eighties and the nineties is coming back and there’s this level of comfort with it. Those of you who did not grow up in the eighties and nineties, you might be wearing the neon or watching the clips from all these shows and going, why do people love this so much? [00:07:00] And I’m gonna suggest that.

The erosion of culture has happened because there’s been erosion of pop culture. No longer on Thursday nights at eight o’clock. Do we have to rush home to watch the Huxtables? Yes, we will just call it the Huxtables. Or at nine o’clock, those six white people hanging out in New York in that big ass apartment or that bar where everybody knew your name.

Or maybe if you were a little bit younger on Friday night, thank God it’s Friday. Steve Urkel, family Matters full house, step by step. Whatever show they put at nine 30 didn’t really care about, you’re like, I guess I should watch it. That was Joy. Oh, and Saturday morning you wake up and say by the bell. So those things influence us.

They say that the song that was number one on the billboard charts, the year you turn 14 has a definite impact [00:08:00] on your life. So for me. It was 1991 and the song was coming out of the Dark by Gloria Estefan, which was interesting ’cause if you know her music rhythm is gonna get you Conga, very different.

But it goes back to that idea of black women singing in the nineties. This song is rife with that.

Video clip: I have you way

finally see Shine, see the light.

Zain: And it’s funny how that kind of is part of the soundtrack to my life coming out, coming out of the dark. As someone who experiences depression and anxiety. It’s kind of like a daily reset sometimes where you wake up, especially in this city when it gets [00:09:00] dark. In the fall and you’re like, I gotta do this again.

And so how do we overcome that? I think everyone has a TV show in them. When you think about all the ones that influence us, what’s the show in you? Is it a workplace comedy, like the Office? Is it a competition show like Survivor, where you just want to vote out every single person that you see in your life?

Is it a dating show gone wrong, like The Bachelorette or Love Island, or what’s the other one that’s like trending right now that everyone’s like, I can’t believe that happened in the finale. What show? What show was that? Does it mean somebody knows? I know you watch it. I know you. You’re like, I don’t watch that.

I’m like, you don’t watch it and you live it. But those shows all have something that makes us. Understand, like Superman right there. Uh, even when Henry Cabell played the Man of Steel, and he said that the S doesn’t mean, uh, uh, it’s just not for super, it stands for Hope. Or even the Superman movie that came out this summer.

It was all about [00:10:00] levity. It wasn’t dark. It was about hope. Uh, Heman, Heman all about mantras. He get up there in his like tight pink top and purple lavender tights and he’s like, I have the power. Puts on a harness and furry underpants and gets a tan. And yes, he has the power. Yeah. Gay porn, right? Yeah. Or gem ai.

Before we all knew ai, it’s showtime synergy. And she went from je Benton into this diva right there. Or Batman. Batman. The animated series, arguably the best version of Batman. But think about that. It’s that anytime someone shone a light calling for Batman, he showed up. So. For you, what are the symbols that represent yourself that if you were to come right now and be like, this is what I stand for.

And right now you all have the opportunity as you entered to write on your name tag. Uh, obviously you have your name, you have what you do, but then I asked you to write something that brings you joy. [00:11:00] And hopefully you did that. And if you didn’t, you have an opportunity to look at and be like, how did I decide to show up?

And the kind of ladies at the front there was like, just write down what brings you joy. And you might be like, well, I don’t wanna do that. Okay, it’s your choice. But those of you who did write joy, this is what I want you to do. I want you to turn to somebody, hopefully somebody you did not come with. And just maybe let’s do groups of four so you meet more people.

So let’s get into groups of four and just introduce yourself and tell them why you wrote what brings you joy. Let’s do that right now and we’re gonna have our friend, Janet Jackson, help us here.

As the song winds down, I’ll have you guys come back to your seats please.[00:12:00] 

Y’all are joyful bunch of people. I love it. Yogi is voguing after that. Ka ka, ka ka ka ka. Amazing. Thank you. Um, you know, before we move on to the next part, does anybody want to share something they discovered about themselves, uh, or about the person they were speaking to when they shared their joy? Does anybody have any?

Uh, yes, Jason? 

Attendee: Uh oh, cool. Look at that. Hello. Microphone. Test test. Um, so I’m 44 now and, and only in the last, I dunno, couple weeks. Has it been, um. Uh, taking, taking pride in the things that I like and putting that first, which sounds selfish, but it’s actually doing the opposite, um, for auditions and whatever else.

Um, my good man behind me here put myself on his tag because he finds, you know, joy in things that he [00:13:00] loves and authenticity and all that kind of stuff. And so, um, yeah, it just, it just solidified what I’ve been trying to put out there. Less people pleasing in a way that’s like, puts me down and more in a way that’s like, oh, this is what I like.

I’m gonna try to do more of this. And so that was really cool. 

Zain: That’s amazing. Instead of putting yourself down, you’re lifting yourself up. Yes. I was gonna be like, Leslie, people pleasing, more self pleasing. And I was like, Ooh, that’s a, that’s good. That’s a good too. You do, you do.[00:14:00] 

Attendee: I also listen to like content about all people in all other industries as well. And so I’m always like curious about that. And when I’m talking to people, I’m always asking questions about like how do they get to where they are and that kind of stuff. And then I’ve just recently noticed this throughout, like my career, I work in corporate communications [00:15:00] as my full-time day job.

And from the time that I was a summer student to now working full-time, I’ve always found ways to tell people’s stories. So like when I was a summer student, I had this column on our internet called A Day In the Life. And I would like go around the company and interview people and like ask about like what they do on a regular, like on a daily basis at work and like what their morning routine is and like, whatever.

So I’ve always been like super curious about that. And then like that’s progressed throughout my career. So I’m always like, you know, like I’ve got, I run, like I do employee communications now, so I run like. Campaigns for people to, you know, share their stories and that kind of stuff. And I have a podcast outside of work as well.

Uh, it’s called Boys Dance too, and it’s, ’cause I was a dancer growing up and there weren’t a lot of other male dancers. So I interview successful male dancers and they get to share their stories and I’m, it’s so fun ’cause I get to interview, interview people that are on Broadway or like the West End or in major companies and I really love that.

And like, it wasn’t until like a few minutes [00:16:00] ago that I realized that, oh, like this is what brings me joy. Being able to like, highlight people, like, share their achievements. Whenever I post a podcast, article, uh, podcast and I see, um, the responses on social media and it’s like, you know, like people’s like ants and like cousins like messaging, like commenting and saying like, good job, Trevor.

Like whatever. Uh, in response to like their podcast, I’m like, Aw, that’s so great that like, I’m getting to highlight this person. So that’s what brings me joy. Yeah. 

Zain: Thank you, Vince. Give 

Attendee: it up for his creative 

Zain: pulse talk. Oh, thank you. He was gonna be next month, but he just did it tonight. Amazing. Thank you.

But you should read his articles. He was like, I’m not gonna write an article about tonight’s event. No, you just spoke one. But thank you. We’ll, we’ll transcribe it and we’ll send it to the stir. Also, thank you for not taking the exercise seriously. But what’s amazing is when you shared, you discovered what you really loved and you should follow his podcast.

And what I love is that he’s like, I love [00:17:00] something and I wanna share it, and I want to enroll other people in it. And then the impact of that. So that’s amazing. Thank you. Vince. Does anybody have a quick one they wanna share? Yes. Who’s in the back there? You can say your name and, um, tell us your joy. Hi, 

Attendee: I’m Sandra.

Hi Sandra. Um, I, I wrote down Joy. You wrote down Joy Brings You Joy. I wrote down Joy because Is Joy a person or a thing? It’s a person. Oh. And she was my best friend and she passed away last year. And I, real sorry. And I realized when I see her name now. I feel, I feel so happy when I see her name. I’m past the sadness when I see her name, and now I just feel, oh, joy.

Zain: You know, that actually reminds me of, like, that, that scene in, um, uh, wand Visions where, uh, uh, uh, the Scarlet Witch says that grief is a pla Uh, it’s, it’s, it’s, if you guys know the quote, please correct me. But it’s like, it’s a, it’s love without a place to go. And that I [00:18:00] read also recently that grief and joy are both expressions of love.

So, uh, how does that show up in our lives? Thank you for sharing that. Thank you, Vince. Thank you, Jason. Presence and presentation sharing. So it is the energy you bring and the feeling you bring, how it’s received. You can’t do excited, but you can get.

He said, don’t talk to somebody I know, but it’s easier for me to just turn to the next person who’s probably somebody I know. Or, or did you, uh, I saw, uh, Devin. Devin took a moment, and I don’t know if you know the people at the back there, but you, you, you’re like, okay, where should I enter? And you thought about it, and then I was like, oh, is he gonna not do the exercise?

Is he gonna do? And then you’re like, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m gonna participate this way. [00:19:00] And it was an interesting thing to watch, to see how you decided to show up and integrate into that. Uh, Vince, like you said, like you, you wrote something there and then you realize something greater was more important to you.

Most people don’t fumble because they’re untalented, they stumble because they burn out. They shut down, they stop showing up. So in times like that, how do you keep going? Maybe you write notes, you take, uh, you take notes down, you remember people, but you continue to share. Back when I was on eTalk, I had the opportunity to interview a lot of people who are really famous now, but at Pivotal points in their career.

And it was interesting how they decided to show up when no one knew who they were. This first person, I didn’t know their song. It was actually one of my producers who was a really good friend of mine. He’s like, do you want a free trip to Canada’s Wonderland? And I was like, I’ve never been since I was a kid.

Let’s go. They’re like, we have to interview this singer. They have this song on much music. [00:20:00] It just came out. It’s getting popular. It’s called Just Dance. And I was like, okay. So we actually went to go interview Estelle, remember Estelle? And she did that song with Kanye. And then after her concert, like it was like the p and e when they do like the thing, and then she’s like, I’m too tired, I wanna do interviews.

I was like, Estelle. Okay. So like you can talk to this lady. Lady Gaga and I was like, lady Gaga. And we’re waiting. And we’re waiting. And at the time she had these Harajuku girls, like Gwen Stefani had sitting with her and she kept us waiting and I’m there in my gingham picnic table shirt and waiting. And she comes out and I was like, who did you think she’s keeping us waiting this long?

Hears me through the door, opens the door, walks out like she’s Madonna, like confidence comes in, sits on the couch. And we had a cameraman that didn’t work with us and this poor man was sweating in the heat and dripping sweat [00:21:00] on her like leather couch and her like rented trailer. And I was like asking her questions and I could already tell, I’m like, I’ve already mistepped with this lady.

But she was professional, she was gracious, she was weird, but she was present. And it was interesting to see how she acted like the pop star, that she knew she was the artist that she knew she was, that we all know her to be. Now. She acted like that on day one when people didn’t even know her hit in America, and it was just getting airplay here in Canada.

Another person, I wanna mention that early on, uh, uh, she came from a group, uh, it’s funny, uh, my brother and I, uh, it was devastating when we were kids. We went to go see her group at, uh, the Plaza of Nations and we bought tickets and they were $40 each. And at that time we were like, this is really expensive.

We should we do this? And we did it. And apparently this group showed up and they saw the venue and they’re like, oh, hell no. And they drove away in their limo. And [00:22:00] s and I were like, we bought Scalper tickets. We can’t get our money back. We’ve devastated. I was so angry at Destiny’s Child. Years later I met this lady, Beyonce.

And I interviewed her here. This is for her Darion line of clothing. But we also spoke when she was promoting the I Am Sasha Fierce album. And what was great about that is she admitted that she had to become a different character, a different persona to become the artist that we wanted to see her as.

And she became that so many times that eventually she was that persona and she didn’t have to put the act on. She now was Sasha Fierce, another celebrity that I got to talk to a lot, uh, at hi, at the peak of his fame, when he was like having a new movie, like every six months Will Smith. And what was great about him is he always treated me like I was his best friend.

I knew he didn’t know my name, but he recognized me by face. Like you can see right there in that clip right there. He’s like, man, you get around, you get around. He [00:23:00] treated me like he wanted to be treated. Sometimes you walk into these junket rooms, you red carpet people will just be like, oh, I gotta do another interview.

I’ve done 40 today. They asked the same questions. He always showed up like the way he wanted to be treated. I felt like I was his friend. How can you do that? How can you show up and share the things that you are interested in with that kind of conviction, with that kind of energy? Because showing up isn’t the whole picture.

You want to notice what’s important to you, but notice what’s important to other people. And there’s a few ways to share, and we can talk about that later in your craft, in your work. How do we use social media? Back in the day when I was a TV host, that was the thing, you had to get to the gatekeeper to get on broadcast television.

You don’t need to do that now. There is no gatekeeper. The only person who needs to give you permission is yourself. So how do you give yourself that permission? And then how do you find the people that you wanna share your work with? Whatever it is, whether it’s your professional work, whether it’s your, your [00:24:00] hobby, there are ways to do that.

Like even right here, uh. Christian, I saw your, like, your video and like my friend there said, Hey, there’s that guy, do you know? And he works in a gym and there’s a video go on Instagram. And he shared it. And I’m like, oh, I need to go to that gym because I’m looking for a gym that has a community. And so when you get on people’s radar and you share your work, other people do the work for you,

sometimes it’s hard when it gets dark, as I mentioned, and you don’t feel like sharing, I don’t think I’m good enough. I don’t think I want to put this out into the world. And that’s why you find community. And that’s what’s so great about this event. Like Chris right here, as somebody I’ve met who brought me, I don’t know if we, if you told me about this, but I know we met at Creative Mornings, which is a different event.

And then I started coming here and Ami holds this space every month. And I see the people who show up all the time who, uh, who show up to volunteer. But then the friends I’ve made here who’ve spoken here, the, the, the community will amplify you. [00:25:00] So how do you find your people to help you do that?

Sometimes we want to give labels to what we do. Write on our name tags. This is my name, this is what I do. Before we did the joy thing and it’s like, how do you wanna identify yourself? Like Tyler Perry told Oprah, or the other way around how Oprah told Tyler Perry, you gotta write it down. What do you say about yourself?

What is the label you give yourself? You know? Um, I’ve heard that saying that it’s hard to see the label from the inside. I find it so easy to sometimes go, oh, this is what you’re working on. Here’s the solution. Do this, do this, do this, do this. But when it comes to me, I’m like, how do I apply that to myself?

Because I know too much stuff that’s in the tornado, that’s in the jar. It’s easier to see it from the outside. And I think sometimes we give ourselves labels, but are the labels fair? Because. Look at this alphabet right here. Lots of letters. What can we do with them? Okay, so, uh, I am [00:26:00] A-P-O-C-L-G-B-T-Q, uh, a DHD.

Uh, I did that in the wrong order. Um, my last name Meg G in Sanskrit means respected cloud. Lots of continent in there. M-E-G-H-J-I. Uh, I used to be on tv. You’ll see a photo soon enough. It’s NSFW. And we’re gonna talk about who you are, what you do, why you do it, and what happens when you do it. Thank you for coming to my Z talk.

But really it’s what are the labels you give yourself and how do you show up with that? One of the shows I hosted was called How to Look Good Naked. Canada, the Canadian version. It was a popular, it was a popular show in England, but they didn’t get the British guy. Then Carson Kressley from Drag Race and the original Queer Eye hosted the American version.

I did the Canadian version and this, okay, this was wild. This is [00:27:00] what happens in the show. If you don’t know the show, uh, this talk about showing up. So the lady, uh, uh, shows up, has never met me, has to come out in her underwear. Underwear, and she has to stand in front of her mirror, meet me, and go, this is what I don’t like about my body, this, this, this, this, this.

Then we take the thing that’s been predetermined, that she does, likes the least about her body, and then compare it to a line of other women who she has to go. Where do I stack up on this? Then I take the woman out onto the street and I take the photos of her projected on the wall and be like, Hey, stranger, what do you think about this lady’s body?

Usually they say nice things, but some people are fucking rude. And then. We do a naked photo shoot, then we take her to a mall and she walks down our runway in her underwear, and then we show the naked photo shoot to the mall. And then I interview her at the end. How’s that for showing up? So I thought it was only fair that if I’m gonna ask these women to do it, I would do it in solidarity.

And so [00:28:00] that is a, that is a big projection. We did this photo as a promo for how to Look Good Naked, and it was on the front page of the newspaper, the entertainment section. And I was proud, ’cause like the show was gonna premiere. It was on the W Network and ended up on the Oprah Network, uh, in reruns for many years.

And I was so proud of myself. But then my brother pointed out only recently that my dad was not impressed with his picture. He’s like, we don’t do that. And I was like, what do you mean we don’t do that? You’re not in the picture. I am, but.

When I think about this, it’s like how do you share the parts of yourself that matter, and in a way that the people that matter to you Understand. My dad came from Kenya. He was in the Royal Kenyan Air Force, and he came to Canada to work as a avionics engineer. And I think he wanted my brother and I to continue in that tradition, but that wasn’t what our [00:29:00] path was.

That wasn’t what our calling was. And I know he was concerned of having two sons who worked in the entertainment industry to be like, how’s this gonna work out for them? And I don’t think, it wasn’t that he wasn’t supportive, it’s that he didn’t understand. So it was, how do you help the people who mattered to you and you matter to them to help them understand how do you show them?

I know there was a time during my career where all the TVs things ended because if you don’t, you probably know. It’s like, I dunno. How many of you, how many of you actually watch broadcast television now? Hands, hands. Right. Like I don’t even have a tv. I watch everything on my phone and it’s all digital.

And back then when it kind of all dried up, I was like, what do I do with my life now? And I remember sitting in my parents’ house in North Delta and I just told my dad, I’m like, nobody wants what I have to offer. And I could see the hurt in his eyes, but he tried to be strong, but he didn’t know what to say.

’cause his answer was [00:30:00] like, get a different job change industries. What about this? What about this? But it’s like sometimes you just need to listen to the person and hear them out. Many years later, my brother and I had gone to a conference, Brendan Burchard, uh, think of like this, but like Brendan Burchard, if you guys know who he is, uh, like-minded people.

And we were at this and we were at this event. And on the Thursday night, my mother, who wasn’t doing very well, uh, physically. Uh, I had a doctor’s appointment and I told Ria, I’m like, we should call home. And usually I wasn’t the son that’s like, we should call home, but we were in a sushi restaurant. We called home and my mom said, yeah, the appointment went well.

And then I spoke to my dad for a long time. Usually we don’t do that, we don’t talk because of that misunderstanding, that lack of seeking to understand each other. And we had this long talk and I told him, I’m like watching this conference. And at this time I was now the head of video Daily Hive here in Vancouver.

I had a great team. We were doing cool things in this city and [00:31:00] I was like, I know I can do more, better and different. And I said to my dad, I’m gonna be okay. And I knew he knew that and I didn’t know what that looked like and I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew that he knew that over the phone. And I know Ria said, I’m really glad we had that call.

The next morning when we were in the conference, we got this distressing call from our mother and we found out that her dad had passed away That.

Sometimes the thing that you have to hide can become your highlight. When we talk about the thing that we’re struggling with, the thing that we need help with, the thing that we’re grieving, that can be our strength, it can be our point of connection. It can be the thing that we create our work with. And it’s like, how do you turn away from the darkness?

And sometimes when you’re facing the shadows, all you do is turn around and face the light. [00:32:00] And how does what you hide become your highlight? You hear this, you’re too much or you’re not enough. How can I be both? But don’t hide. You show up, you share, you shine. Turn the parts that you’ve tucked away into the parts that light up this room.

How does your shadow become your superpower? Take a word. Now think about this right now, take a word that you would identify yourself negatively. Maybe somebody’s called you that. Maybe you’ve called yourself that. Just think of what that word is now. How can you flip that word? How can your shadow become your superpower?

For example, if someone says you’re an overthinker, well, maybe you are a deep thinker. Uh, you’re intense. Well, maybe just because you’re passionate or a perfectionist, well, you’re just detail oriented. A people pleaser. You’re a connector. For [00:33:00] me, um, as somebody with a DHD and thoughts everywhere and trying to do all this stuff, uh, collecting all the things, uh, people call me chaotic.

But when I was at Daily Hive and I had a video podcast, my videographer said, well, we should call the show Chaotic Creative ’cause that’s what you are. And also, when we’re creating stuff, and I’m always an advocate for disruption, how do you do more, better, and different? I own that by calling myself a disruption director.

The thing that minimizes you in some places can be the thing that lifts you up.

So when we think about that show, how to look at naked, that woman looking in that mirror and identify, identifying herself with the things that she doesn’t like, how can you look into the mirror and identify yourself by the things you do? Like what if you’re like, I have nice eyes, I have strong arms that can lift other people up.

I got a booty so big that when I back it up, you go, beep, beep, [00:34:00] beep. Whatever that word is, whatever that thing that you see, how can you use that to empower yourself? So this is what I wanna try. As I used to be a yoga, uh, I used to be a yoga teacher and actually bombing and I, we went to go to that Lululemon, uh, series on the beach where you do the yoga.

And I kind of after it, I was like, wait a minute. I’m a certified yoga teacher. I don’t even do yoga. And so, you know, how often do we know better, but we don’t do better. And so let’s do a little yogic exercise here. And I’m not gonna ask you to get over your chair, but instead I’m gonna ask you to ground your feet on the floor and put your palms either face up if you feel like I need a little bit more energy or palms down if you wanna ground yourself.

And you can close your eyes. And I want you to look in the mirror. This is what I want you to visualize, like a vanity mirror with lights around it. Okay? Hold that image. You see it on the screen. I want you to close your eyes. [00:35:00] We’re gonna do an adaptation of Jose Silva’s screen of the mind exercise. Most of us look in the mirror and see the flaws first.

What if we flipped that picture? We’re gonna visualize this. Imagine a blank mirror in front of you. This mirror is actually a screen and it has the power to project the version of yourself or your situation that frustrates you. The thing that dims your spark. It’s play this out for a few seconds.

You may know the song.

As you’re looking at that image, how do you feel about what you see? How do you feel about what you say to yourself?[00:36:00] 

Now flood that screen, that mirror with brilliant light. So like the lights that are around the mirror are just flashing bright, brighter, just enveloping the screen. And as that happens, see the old image dissolve like a fog burning off in sunlight.

Now replace that image with a new image, the version of you that feels aligned, confident, joyful. See yourself showing up the way you want. Walking into a meeting, stepping up on a stage, having that conversation, doing your creative work, and sharing it with other people. Now hold that image and hold [00:37:00] that feeling.

Slowly exhale.

On the next inhale, breathe in that image, and on the exhale step into the image and imagine yourself inside that screen, looking through those eyes and feeling that energy

Again. Inhale.

Exhale.

And on the next breath, I want you to fill yourself with all the light. That is around [00:38:00] that mirror. That’s in that scenario you are in. Inhale,

exhale, and open your eyes. That image, that version of you, you can pull that up anytime because whatever it was you saw, whatever it is you did, that was you. All I said was look at a mirror and see the light and whatever that was, that’s what happened. And that’s how you reignite your spark. If you ever wanna do that again, just remember that.

So who do you have to become, like Ms. Lady Gaga or Beyonce or best friend Will Smith? Who do you have to become for the dad in your life, the mentor in your life, the partner, the friend to fit in there? To make them understand [00:39:00] this is what I’m about, this is what I do. And how do you step into that image in the mirror at any given moment, there’s an idea that one plus one equals three.

Mathematically, that doesn’t really work, but the idea that the sum of two parts becomes greater. So when we talk about the superheroes who put on the costume, that’s still that same person. But by putting on the caution, they become a greater, a greater thing when you are with people who you’re connected with or you came here with somebody else, or if you met someone tonight and you connected with them, and as we call this a talk in social and you have the opportunity connect with other people, you become a greater sum by connecting with each other.

How do you do that? Collecting, gathering stories, mentors, inspiration, connecting. Blend those people and their values with your values, their pers perspectives, and build community there. How do you transform into something new that only you can make[00:40:00] 

during the pandemic? I moved back into North Delta full time after our dad was gone and my brother had a beautiful young son. I was like, I’ll be the one to move back to Delta to take care of mom. And it was difficult. The pandemic, I’m sure was difficult for everybody and during that time,

very isolating, but also trying to help someone who wasn’t doing well mentally, physically, but it felt like it was a duty to show up. And these, uh, this was before, this was the Mother’s Day video we’d done for Daily Hive, but this is some words that she shared with me that I wanna share with you guys.

Video clip: Just be happy. Your happiness [00:41:00] is my happiness. Always be kind, kind to yourself and kind to the people who are around you. Apply that to yourself

because you’re always considerate thinking of me all the time and caring about me. 

Zain: You were kind patient.

You exhibit a resilience of strength.

Find your kind and what does that mean? Uh, your kind of kindness. I used to say to one of my colleagues back at Daily Hive, Lauren, she was, uh, she started as my pa, she’s now the head of video there, and I’d always say to her, you don’t have to be nice, but you get to be kind. And how do you do that to yourself, but also to other people?

How do you find your kind as a [00:42:00] kid? When I showed you those toys, like there was no brown action figures back then. There was no brown or black Barbies back then. How do you find your kind with the people, and again, coming back to events like this or gathering places or places to share your art or find community or rec leagues or family, where do you find your kind?

What is your kind of kindness, your super friends, your. One conversation I had with Chris was your RPG, uh, RPG squad. In the quest of life, when you’re playing those games, I dunno if you guys has ever played final fantasy, my poor brother had to sit and watch me play Final Fantasy, uh, for hours ’cause he only had one tv.

But it’s like, you go on this journey to complete this quest and you gather misfits along the way and they have different powers than you, but together you unite and you’re able to defeat the enemy. Or one of my favorite movies, the Wiz, which I gotta say [00:43:00] this is wild. So one of the last show, the, actually the last show I ever directed in 2001 was The Wiz here in Vancouver.

And you know, there ain’t no black people in Vancouver except for Vanessa. Thank you for coming, Vanessa, but gotta represent. I think I have two black people on that show, but it’s usually done with an entire black cast and, but it’s a Motown and it’s music. And I think anybody can do music and anybody can tell that story.

But it was a Motown musical version of The Wizard of Oz. And my scarecrow was Jason McKinnon right over there. Everybody

and I hadn’t seen it. You actually know this. This is such a random, this is about find your kind, but this is about finding your kind because the synergy, the last time I saw you in person, was at that audition for that commercial. I did one audition, one audition last year, one, and I booked it and it was my first national US commercial.

That shit still pays me today. Didn’t get any auditions this year. Everything I’ve done, they’re like, bye, go. No [00:44:00] thank you. But last year that was pretty good. I’m like, just pick one. Just do one. And that’s all you need, right? You just need one to hit. But I remember we, we met there. And then again, he was just one of the people who I messaged this week and I’m like, Hey, come to this thing.

And he showed up. But who are the people. You are Dorothy, and you’re going down that yellow brick road and you’re trying to get there and you’re like, you get to Oz and the gatekeepers there, and you’re like, fuck the gatekeeper, fuck the gatekeeper. And you’re like, I’m getting in there. And I’m with my tin man, I’m with my scarecrow, my lion.

They all want different things. She wants to get home, they want courage, they want uh, they want brains. They want a heart. Can we all get it together? And sometimes it’s heavy. You know, I have a lot of shit. I have a friend,

but I have all of this stuff. It brings me joy. Maybe too much joy, because if you can’t see it and you can’t use it, then what’s the point? You have to share it. [00:45:00] But sometimes when we’re carrying these things, this guilt, this shame, the difficulties, you gotta let it go. And when you go down that road. With this team to create, uh, to, to accomplish the quest or with these people, you just need to heed the lyrics from this musical.

At the end, the song is called Home and the, and I’m not a great singer, but I forget lyrics unless I kinda help ’em to myself. It’s the only way they come back, but it’s like the lyrics go. When I think of home, I think of a place where there’s love overflowing. I wish I could go back there with the things I’ve been knowing and like, what does that mean to you?

Whatever home is in your sense of belonging, in what you believe about yourself in how you are being in this world. But it doesn’t need to be difficult. You can be direct in your direction and go straight there and there will be distractions and there will be disruptions, [00:46:00] but as long as you’re with the people as this song goes, you can just ease on down the road.

Jason did that so well. And it was also so funny, like, you gotta see photos of this. It’s like, I dressed him up like this is before Batman begins, and I dressed him up what Christopher Nolan did for the Scarecrow in those movies. Like, he was like a horror scarecrow. He was freaky. But I was like, I did that first and it was before Wicked Open too, and I was like, oh, that’s what it would look like if we actually had a budget.

But community theater in Vancouver, uh, it was, it was cute. It was cute. But as you go down that journey, I wanna invite you to start out as a starving artist and not that misnomer of like, I suck and I have no money, but rather lean into that hunger. What is that thing that [00:47:00] drives you? What is that thing that makes you want to do the thing you do that makes you want to share your story, your craft, your art?

And how do you go from being a starving artist? To a starting artist, how do you begin the thing? This is where I try it. This is where I fail. This is where I get better. It’s not about perfection, but it is about progress. And this is the thing where I stumble, is having a process. People who’ve worked with me know, I’m just like, okay, we’re gonna do that.

Even this, even doing this talk, I worked on it so many times and like I have notes here, but I’m also saying shit that he did not write down because it’s coming to me in the moment and that’s what I’m feeling. And I am prepared. I’m probably too prepared and I want to, uh, set it up for you guys to be engaged here.

And that’s the starting artist. And the more you do it and your tribe align and the people show up and then they support you and they tell other people about the work you are doing and you amplify their stories, then you become the starring artist. And that spark starts up with a presence, then it turns into a flame as you [00:48:00] share authentically.

And then it turns into a bigger fire as you collaborate and multiply it with other people, and then that light shines the way for other people to follow. I see that light. I can step into it. I’m going to move towards it.

So at this point I want to turn it over to some q and a, and I know you guys wrote some questions here and there’s a lot of them, but as I sift through these, but I wanna be present, listen to attention, uh, pay attention here. Uh, uh, I think AMI has a, a microphone and he’s gonna pass it around if anybody has any, uh, questions that they want to share.

Uh, but I also want to like, suggest that you have all the answers. I’m just gonna ask the questions. So instead of calling it q and a, let’s call it a Q and Zane. Yeah, let’s bring that up here. Ami. Um, thank you sir.

All [00:49:00] right. Okay. So does anybody, oh, I’m gonna sit here close to this thing. Um, well here the first one is, uh, a, a, a challenge that you’re looking for a creative solution for. And this is the thing. A lot of you didn’t write your handles here, but I will answer these. I love that you did this and you took time to do this.

Um, I can’t write you directly ’cause you didn’t write the thing here, but, um, this is amazing and I will take the time because you took the time to answer these. But the first one, finding like-minded collaborators. Uh, first suggestion is take a class. Those people right there, we actually took a drag makeup class together and um, I’m still terrible at it, but that doesn’t matter because, um, I’m trying to make money from it though.

I have people pay me to, that’s the thing, that’s the wildest thing too. You don’t even need to be great. You just need to show up with conviction. And people are like, here’s money. And I’m like, okay, because I ain’t doing this shit for free though. I’m doing this shit for free, but that’s okay. That’s okay.

I love ami. Yes. There’s a question. What’s happening? I know, um, as well. Sorry, what was that? Collaboration board. Oh, yes. Right. Okay. So [00:50:00] that’s a good thing too. Um, I’ve met people here just by talking to ’em and make sure you do that when this talk is done and talk to the other people that, uh, uh, like if their joy resonates with you or if their profession is something, but also use that board there and just write your name, your contact.

What is Your’re looking for? Because like this, this, uh, this evening when we showed up, it was full. And so he wiped it down from like the last session. But it’s like, you guys can do that too. Uh, find like-minded people. Uh, uh, creative people like me, creative people. Noun, no creative people. Verb like me, creative people, adjective like me.

Think about that. They’re in this room here, they’re elsewhere by putting out the signal there. There’s somebody who’s not here. Um, Katie, she, uh, comes here a lot, but she, uh, is in graphic design, and I just commended her about putting your work online and all the success she’s having with clients. That makes me go, oh, if I need that, I should book her.

Uh, share your stories. People wanna see you succeed because then they can be like, oh, I need that. Or I [00:51:00] know somebody who needs that. Um, producing projects and finding talent, I’d be, that’s similar, uh, to that, uh, is finding your like-minded people, oh, I don’t have an answer for this. Dealing with a boss that doesn’t know what they’re doing and you feel unappreciated.

Okay.

I am fortunate that where I work now, I have a lovely boss and he is very kind and, uh, appreciative. But I’ve had some horrible producers, uh, that I’ve worked for and this is not a, in this economy, it’s like it quit is one. But that’s not always a feasible choice. So it’s like, how do you find different, how do you find other support in the company and, uh, or other allies.

Uh, I remember, you know, there was a, there was a news anchor here in the city who said, you’re not anyone in entertainment. I’ve been fired three times and I’ve been fired three times. And the last time I was fired, um, one of the producers went up to that, that villain and was like, you just, you realize you just ruined someone’s [00:52:00] life.

And I was like, oh, that’s such a nice parting thought to leave with that person. Um, you don’t always get to have those opportunities to like stick it to them, but it’s like, how do you stick to it? And I think there’s other ways, and it comes down in finding solidarity with the community that you work with.

And if it doesn’t fit you, you have to leave the relationship, but always find an opportunity to make it work elsewhere. That’s a hard one because even in the absence of hr, like HR is not gonna save you, but it’s like, how do you protect yourself or how do you disassociate from that situation and find.

The good parts in other areas of your life. Um, does somebody have a question? Uh, uh, in the audience? Yes. Uh, right here. We’re in the front. 

Attendee: Hi. Hi. Early in the presentation, uh, I wanted to hear your personal humble opinion of why you thought Lady Gaga was quote weird because along [00:53:00] with it you said she was very professional, strong presence.

Uh, and so in contrast to that being weird, like what was it that in your, in interview that made her weird?

Zain: I have to clarify that. I don’t think weird is a bad thing. I think weird is a good thing. Okay. Two people are boring and stagnant and, uh, she was. Weird because as a beginning artist, she didn’t act like a beginning artist. Um, and what’s interesting too is that, I forgot this, but a really good friend of mine, I went to UBC at the theater program and somebody who was in theater program with me went to Circle and Square New York, and he’s like, there’s a girl in my class.

So I graduated around 2000 UBC and around like 2003, two, uh, he’s like, there’s a girl in my class and she’s gonna be a big celebrity. And I’m like, oh yeah. Uh, and he’s like, no, no, it was 2005 because I was on eTalk. And he’s like, her name is Stephania and you should watch out for her. I’m like, sure buddy.

Uh. I [00:54:00] forgot that. Mm-hmm. But it was Stephania German Auto Lady Gaga. So he was in class with her and he knew how she was showing up in class that she was gonna be a star. And I dunno if you guys know that story about that Facebook page where they’re like, we hate Stephania German Auto. And everybody in her class thought she was weird, that at the break she’d always go in the hallway and like sing songs from Wicked and play them on the piano.

And everyone’s like, you’re weird. But she knew who she was gonna be. So I don’t think weird is a bad thing. I think weird is a wonderful thing. And even when we talk about find your kind, it’s like find the weird and find the wonderful that is not just a mirror reflection of yourself, but a mirror reflection of your soul.

So when we talk about who are those people who will support you, find the weirdos. Okay.

Um,

another question. Anybody? Yes.

Attendee: What [00:55:00] if you shone bright and then got burnt? Mm, and then fell into an abyss for quite a while and are trying to get out and you do whatever you can, but it’s hard. What would you tell that person

Zain: without knowing the specifics of your situation and speaking generalities? I can put myself in your situation. You know, I can be like, Hey man, I was on, um, the peak of Canadian television deal list celebrity, but it was a big deal. I gotta do cool things. And then I did have a look at Naked and didn’t get renewed.

And then I was like, well, now do I do. So I took that job in hosting Breakfast Television Calgary, which was terrible for me and got fired from it. And then I was like, now what do I do? [00:56:00] And there was a couple of years where I just did not have work and I worked intermittently in the States, but I was like, do I care enough to restart my career in America?

Like I did all that to get to a certain level in Canada. Do I do it again? Do I care? And then I came home ’cause I ran outta money and I was fortunate through Connections. Got the job at Daily Hive and did some cool things there. And then when that ended during the pandemic, got the current job I’m at, at uh, BBTV Ray and get to do YouTube strategy for uh, uh, movie the YouTube channels, movie studios.

But there’s still more I can do. And during the pandemic, we lost our parents. I lost my home. We sold the home. And so, uh, even though I’m not unhoused, I am homeless, I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I don’t what city I’m in. So even though I’m in here talking about reigniting your spark, a spark is one thing.

I got sparks for days. I can come up with ideas of do this, do this, do this. But it’s like, how do you sustain it? And I love that you say that. It’s like you can shine bright, [00:57:00] but if you get too close to the sun, you will get burnt and you will evaporate. So you gotta like keep the distance from the situation.

And again, because I don’t know what your exact situation is, it’s how do you protect yourself? Same thing with that question there about the uh, uh, the villain at the office. It’s like, how do you protect yourself? How do you protect your peace? How do you cultivate the joy? Whatever you wrote, what did you write as your joy word on that name tag?

Sorry, music. Music. So again, not knowing what kind of music you do, but how do you cultivate that, uh, elsewhere and you don’t have to do it for your profession or in the way that you Shawn brightly before and it burnt you. Uh, how do you bring more of that into your life and how do you do with other people?

Because I know that I think that there probably is a good third of this audience or people who I know personally who showed up and there’s other people who, uh, couldn’t make it and who had the intention to make it. But I do think it is about the community. It’s [00:58:00] cultivating your creativity, but also cultivating your community.

And I think that for myself, uh, when I’m at my worst eye, I retreat and I regress and I go back into the shadows because sometimes it’s too much. So it’s like how do you find your peace? And um, Chris is like, you should meditate. Took me to yoga class and I realized I know better and I should be doing yoga more and moving my body.

And so it’s like, how do you do the things that will. Cultivate that joy and get you a little bit better. And you don’t need to shine so bright that you burn out again, but you can shine a little bit brighter. I hope that helps. 

Attendee: Thank you.

Zain: Did you want to add anything to that specifics wise? Because I feel there’s a lot to unpack there and I wanna be respectful of your privacy. Um, but I’m gonna get everybody’s side. You’re gonna do what? [00:59:00] Everybody. We go down my rabbit. Oh, I see. Okay. Well that’s, uh, but, but, but think about that, right? It’s like how do you cultivate the spark to the point that it doesn’t burn the house down?

’cause you don’t need to burn the house down, just like in little bits. And then when the spark goes out, you just go to somebody else who has a spark or a light. I was gonna bring a lighter as a prop and I didn’t, I had it on my kitchen counter. And then you go. Can I get a light? Right? And they’ll just light you up again.

Anybody else? Yes, sir. Devin? I don’t even know Devin. I just saw he was like the guy who was like, I wanna make new friends. Thank you. 

Attendee: I’ll, I could project, but No, no, no, no. They, you’ve had an amazing career. You’ve got to interview icons. Uh, a lot of, um, hyper successful people. Personalities. If you could kind of sum up in one word, what all these, you know, mega stars all had, like a trait they all [01:00:00] had, what one word would that be?

Zain: So, one of the things I love and I told, uh. Percy and Kylie at the front. Uh, when people were filling out the, the joy thing was right. The first thing that comes to mind, don’t think about it. Just what was the first thing? It’s right when you said that, the first thing that came to my mind, ’cause I’m sure I could probably like think about it, ruminate and spend like weeks on it like I did with this presentation, and then just change everything the night before.

Oh, well, change months. It’s like the answer the word was clarity and to make it longer was the clarity of direction. That’s what I said earlier. Be direct in your direction. Um, I saw in some of the questions of the pre, the pre-questions that came in and maybe in even here, it’s like, I want to go in so many different ways, but choose one, like again the yellow brick road.

It’s just follow the yellow brick road. Just go down that path. Anytime they went off of it, shit happened, right? Like shit went wrong. When they didn’t follow the rule. Their own rule. Just follow the yellow brick road. So, um, it’s the clarity of direction. I want to become this, I’m going to do [01:01:00] this. Now we hear that saying as Beyonce wasn’t built in a day and she has a team.

She was built over time and she, uh, had other people, her father, uh, uh, committed to her career like Joe Jackson committed to Michael Jackson’s career, right? Without those men, uh, those kids would not have done what they did. Right? So again, it’s finding the mentors and the people to help you, but it’s being clear.

If she didn’t wanna do it, she wouldn’t have kept up with it, right? So it was being clear about that. It’s Lady Gaga, right? She’s like, I know what I’m gonna be and I’m gonna make you see what I’m gonna be. And, uh, uh, like you can read about how will cultivated, like his choices, like, I’m gonna move from being a, a rapper to a sitcom star, to a movie star.

They all had a clarity of direction and they stuck to it. So even further, um, to, uh, your question about burning out, it’s like, well, where do you want to go? Just don’t run into the sun, but do walk towards the light. They knew. They knew. They just, they just like Oprah. She just knew I’m gonna do this and this is how I’m going to do it.

And if it doesn’t work that way, um, I’ll figure it out. Like when I [01:02:00] talk about the auditions I didn’t get this year, like I haven’t directed something in like 25 years. And I talk about like all the time, the shows I’ve directed. I will tell you about a story about another one. And, um, they’re very important to me, but somebody I worked with, he’s like, you should direct a show again.

So I applied for a student group at u BBC to hire me. And I, I thought it was a good interview. And then I got like a, like a form, like a generic rejection email. I was like, what? And Bowman’s like, that’s ego talking. And I’m like, get is ego. ’cause I was like, excuse me, but then I’m like, yeah, no, you wanna hire a student who knew the show, right?

Um, if I was really that committed to directing again, I would make it happen, right? But it’s like, I’m like, but where do I wanna put my energy? ’cause you can’t do everything right. Uh, again, Oprah, it’s like you can do anything, but you can’t do everything all at once. So one thing at a time. And I think that’s what they did.

And then they got other people, you know, again, going back to Beyonce, uh, tours, clothing line, da da da da, da, perfumes, hair care. Right. Um, I think that that’s, uh, what they all had in common [01:03:00] is clarity of direction. One more. Sure.

Where is that? Oh, soup shoop.

Attendee: Um, yes sir. Okay. So first of all, hello. Hi. Hi. Um, okay, so as, as someone that works in the creative realm, as someone that runs on creativity, how, what is your strategy to deal with the constant fear that. The, the previous good idea you have could be your last, you know, it’s like, uh, well that’s, that’s it.

You know, the muses are gone and it’s like, well shit, should I start applying for Burger King [01:04:00] jobs? Or I, I, I don’t know. 

Zain: Okay. So those are two wildly different questions. One is, will you run out of creative ideas? And the other one is, should I get a job in a, a fast restaurant? Okay. I 

Attendee: mean, not, not so much that I will, I probably won’t get a job at a fast restaurant.

They probably wouldn’t hire in this economy. They would not hire me. Do you need five years work experience to start at an entry level position at Burger King? 

Zain: At, at anywhere? Oh my God, I don’t know about that. I think you need, I think you need Lady Gaga’s clarity of direction. I will be the Burger King.

No. What’s your questions about credo ideas? I’ll be the king, 

Attendee: the burgers. Hell yeah. What is it? Um, okay. But like, how, what is your strategy to, to dealing with that fear? It was like, oh, well, um. I just did, I just did a cool thing. But like, what if I don’t ever do a cool thing again? Like, what if the idea doesn’t come?

’cause they come to you, right? Like you can, it’s not something that you can muscle your way through. You cannot, like, manufacture, ingenuity, I [01:05:00] mean, for the lack of a better word, for you can manufacture inspiration. So like, you know, it’s inconsistent. How many cool things have you 

Zain: done in your life? 

Attendee: A couple.

Zain: How many? Pardon? Gimme like a number when you’ve done more than two cool things in your life. 

Attendee: Uh, okay. Let’s like, let’s say, um, artistically like, I don’t know, a dozen, 

Zain: you’ve done 12 artistically cool things. I’ve known you for maybe two months, and I think you’ve done at least six. So there’s no way you’ve just done a dozen cool things in your life, so you’re underselling yourself.

There’s no way. And I think you need to give yourself more credit. Like, so if you guys don’t know, I know him from, um. The drag class, uh uh, the, his performing name is shoot Dumpling. Is that right? Yep. Okay. Uh, hello? I just call you shoot, like the, like Whitney. Hey. Yeah. Salt and pepper, right? That too.

And I, and I didn’t get to see your number, but I saw it on video. But it’s like you [01:06:00] had the wildest costume day glow green. You had fingers as your lips. That shit’s fucked up. That is fucked up. People don’t think about that. Right? But even it’s okay. So to be brief and to stay on point, to give you that, it’s like there’s two ways to do it.

Everything is a remix. So you see something you like add to it, you see something you’ve done, add to it. You see someone, something else has done Lady Gaga. Weird. Add to it or take away, take away the hair. You did. Do it again. Take away the face mask thing. Do it again. Change the color of the costume.

Change the song. You will never run out of ideas. You, you can’t. Ideas are, uh, uh, are like love. It’s a renewable resource. The more you use it, the more

is with doing it with $10,000. And then a friend comes and [01:07:00] raised another 10,000. We did a full music for 20 grand. Right. And the sketches were amazing. And like, if you look at them, um, the woman who did our costumes went on to design Riverdale for seven years. And it’s like, it’s cool shit. Like I, like a friend of mine, she found the pictures from 2000.

’cause like I had applied for a grant and she had the file and I was like, that’s such cool shit that we did like in 2001. We were kids. You tap into that, like when I talked about the nostalgia thing and go back to your childhood and what did you do when you played All the time we’re worried about work, work, work, but we forget it’s about play.

How do you play? That sounds like fun. So just play. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you need the ideas. ’cause you’ve got the ideas. What you gotta do is, which one do I do next? And then next. And then when do I take a break so I don’t burn out? And then next. 

Attendee: Thank you. Thank, thank you. 

Zain: Um,

Video clip: God. [01:08:00] Oh my God, 

Zain: I want to close this out here. But

so Janet Jackson is a big, I’m a big fan of Janet Jackson and every time I come to Creative Pulse, I always end up talking about my all drag alter ego. RuPaul always says, uh, you’re born naked, the rest is drag. And when we talk about who do we have to become, what are the costumes you put on? Janet Jacks off is my alter ego and what’s going on with that paint there?

Heavy handed. I look like that lady, um, from a Drew Carey show, but, um,

this is me, this is Janet Alter ego. I dunno if i’s Skip the song her, Janet.

And then this was [01:09:00] again at Pride. I don’t even do drag that often. My friends here in the little, uh, drag group they’re in know that Jenna Jacks off is retired, uh, because she just fucking tired and, but someone, but someone like called me and they’re like, Hey, we’ll pay you to be in the Pride Parade. I’m like, okay.

So amazing, right? Because I showed up elsewhere, they saw it, they’re like, show up again because I have an Instagram account. You can follow her at Janet Jacks off. And um, it’s kinda like my burner account now, but you can follow that and uh, uh, yeah, I’ll show up. So. But I wanna end here with this. Whatever you make, make it matter.

When we talk about musical theater, one of my favorite musicals, um, is Jesus Christ Superstar. My parents were very religious, but I’m just a[01:10:00] 

media like we just saw with, uh, miss Jack Self. If you’re nasty, put it out there so people can see you shine. It’s your legacy, it’s your amplification, the vision. What do you see for yourself, the mission? How will you make it happen? Grief and joy or expressions of love. Community through connection and the consistency of your consistency.

How do you keep doing the thing? Just keep doing the thing.

I love this quote here. Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Well, who are you not to be? You were born to make manifest the [01:11:00] glory of God, whatever that means to you.

That is within us, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. As I mentioned, I went to UBC. On a computer science scholarship. And I was like, this ain’t for me. Which is funny because all I do now is sit in front of a computer all day or stare at my phone, which doesn’t mini computer.

But I was like, this isn’t for me. And I was gonna switch to theater and my dad was hell no, because he didn’t understand. He’s like, what is what, what is that? So I actually got accepted to the, uh, acting program at the U and didn’t go, went to UBC on a science scholarship, did a semester of it, and was gonna switch faculties.

But you have to wait because you can’t do that in the middle of the year. So instead, I somehow convinced the resident advisor in the [01:12:00] residence I was living in, instead of doing a comedy troupe, an improv troupe, let’s put on a musical, and we decided to put on the musical hair. And at the age of 19, what did I know about American, uh, politics, sex and drugs, nothing.

What do I know about that now? Nothing. But what I did know, it was about a group of people coming together to do different, to Unite. And we had all these people from around the world come together first time away from home. And the musical, if you guys know the story of Hair, which is wild, ’cause I directed the show almost 30 years ago, but it was on Broadway 30 years before that.

And if you know the story of hair 60 years later, the idea of war and class and racism, and equality and justice still are issues that we deal with today. And as kids, we came together to do this show,

and the lyrics are very powerful. And at the end of the [01:13:00] show, they invoke a prayer, a prote protest, a prayer, a protest, a passion to lift other people up. They ask us. To let the sunshine in. 

Video clip: Let the sunshine, let, let

the sunshine,

the sun shining. Sun shining.

Zain: On the closing night of the show, my dad came to see it and there was a standing ovation and a girl backstage [01:14:00] said, after everyone left, the first person to stand was your dad. It’s because collectively the group of us decided to show up. He decided to show up and together we helped him understand this is what we do.

As we invoked the sun to shine in, he got to see his sun shine.

And so I ask you guys, what will you stand for and who will stand with you shining? It isn’t ego, but it’s rather it’s leadership. Ego says, look at me, but leadership says, I will stand in the light so you can see what’s possible and you can follow. [01:15:00] So by showing up and showing him, he got to understand what it is I did and what was important to me.

And I invite you guys to do that for yourselves. And whatever aspect matters to you in your life. Whatever it was you saw in that mirror, go do that thing.

Let the genius of your joy be stronger than the hassle of your hustle. How will you show up? What more can you share and where will you shine? Choose one space to be visible this week, whether it’s going to another gathering like this, having a meeting, making a social post, calling an old friend. Share.

Tell a story about what you learned tonight. Something cool you saw and shine. Do that act to put the spotlight on somebody [01:16:00] else or even on yourself. Message me directly. I really appreciate you guys took the time to write those questions. But if you go to Zane tv, it’ll just go to my Instagram, not the Janet Jack.

Half one will go to my actual Instagram. That QR code will go to my Instagram. And I would love to know because this is the first time I’ve given this entire talk and I appreciate you guys showing up. I appreciate Ami Where was on? On me? Where’s Ami? Ami? Where’s he? Ami giving the space. I asked him years ago to do this, but I was traveling a lot.

And then this year he’s like, okay, August 28th. And I was like, that’s a long time for now. And I knew that because I lose momentum. So we worked on it in April and I didn’t do fuck. And then I worked on in June and then didn’t do fuck college until like two weeks ago. And that’s the thing, lifelines, sorry, excuse me.

Deadlines are your lifelines. Set those. Find the accountability buddies here to do the thing. Okay, but write me please. I’d love to know what you thought. And my buddy PJ there. Now we got aj and we got [01:17:00] Eric, my homie’s filming this whole talk so you can watch it again. But PJ there, uh, if you want to just tell him what you thought, he’s gonna record that.

Uh, but I wanna do one last thing here with you guys. I want you to take out your phones and turn on the camera. Not turn on the camera. Turn on the flashlight. Turn on the flashlight.

And just notice right now, look around, see the ripple effect. See what happens. And everyone starts turning their lights on one at a time. Now shine the light on your face and shine it on somebody else. This is what it’s like when you light up other people and you guys are laughing and you see the effect there.

But this is why shining matters. When you step into the light, you give other people the permission to do the same. Shine your light, it changes everything. Shakespeare says, all the world’s a stage. We are merely players. So [01:18:00] how are you gonna show up this week? What’s your next act? Is it a solo act? Is it a collaboration?

Is it something you’ve been holding onto? Is it an iteration of something that you’re working on? As I said, nothing comes to life until you take action on it. So lights, you have the camera take action. Showing up isn’t just the performance, it’s claiming the stage, your spark, your story, and giving it away so others can find theirs.

A guru is defined as someone who dispels darkness, and that’s what we’ve done here today. I’m sure all of you could share a story. I’d love to know what you saw on your screen. I’d love to know what the joy meant to you, but the fact that you showed up today. I am grateful. Namaste. The light in me honors [01:19:00] and recognizes the light in you.

So when you ask, what do you do when the darkness sets in, you think, how do I show up? How do I share and how do I let the sun shine in?